Archive for March, 2009

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Amy Winehouse attacks plane passenger on her way back to London

It seems 71 days of vacationing have done nothing to calm down Amy Winehouse because she almost took a poor guy’s eyes out just for looking at her. Amy was flying back to London after she heard her hubby Blake was out of jail in a bid to save her marriage (hoping he’d be hit [...]

Lindsay Lohan wants to become a Jew for Samantha

Lindsay Lohan wants to prove she’s a true lesbian deeply devoted to her lesbian lover and the only way to do so is to become a Jew. Because, although she was raised to be a devout Catholic, she knows God won’t mind her switching religions if it is for the quest of true love. And [...]

Jennifer Lopez wants to have a sex change op to become Elvis

This is J.Lo’s new haircut, so either our title holds some truth and she’s aspiring to look like the King or her hairdresser slipped some roofies in her detox tea and went to town with her head. Either way, she does look pissed (or is she practising Elvis’s pout?). Maybe she should have Marc Anthony call [...]

Amanda Bynes gets tipsy in her pink nightgown

Have you ever wondered why celebrities are always seen holding the arm of an unknown friend when leaving a nightclub? It’s not because they love them so, it’s because they don’t want their face to have a first degree encounter with the pavement if left to manage the art of walking on their own. And [...]

Holly Madison out celebrating her freedom from corpses and magicians

Holly Madison must have had a huge weight lifted off her implants. Being the concubine of a guy who wet his pants everytime they rubbed their nose against each other’s and then the fiancee of a man who insisted on making her vagina disappear on the count of three must have been hard. So now [...]

Suspicious tangerine bag lady seen around Malibu area

Oh wait, it’s Katie Price (aka Jordan) guys! False orange alarm! But is she really doing shopping in Malibu with that huge white bag or is husband Pete’s head in there(wrapped in plastic so the blood wouldn’t seep through the white fabric)? Locky

Paris Hilton nightclubbing with her new boyfriend

Is it a surprise that everyone knows about Paris Hilton’s new boyfriends minutes after she declares them her new puppy and passes on to them her gift of oral herpes (sorry mom, meant to tell you first, but you know, i do have to keep my media machine running – don’t worry, he’ll be gone anyway when [...]

We found the one thing on Victoria Beckham that’s talented: her toes

May we direct your attention to Victoria Beckham’s feet for just a moment? This woman is truly extraordinary, for she can hold a ballerina pose in her 2-size bigger 7-inch stilettos for hours without contorting her face in sheer agony and excruciating pain. So we are deducing that either those toes are the most talented in the [...]