Archive for April, 2009

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Victoria Silvstedt giving her puppies the tan they deserve

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After being subjected to photos of volcanic-size Venus Williams attacking the same waters in South Beach, Miami, it is a relief to lay our eyes on Victoria Silvstedt…even if we practiced at the same exact sport several hundred times already. Because let’s face it…squeezing her silicone melons in a tight bikini and striking seductive poses while lazily soaking [...]

Venus is now planet Jupiter

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Holy Cow entering the waters of Miami beach! Venus Williams has the same effect as Moses’s cane had on the Red Sea; the waters just separate to let her pass. And a shoutout to the two girls jumping on her: you just made the comparison to normal-size females so much easier…sort of like a gorilla telling [...]

Paris Hilton’s dress holds on for dear life at Bravo’s Annual A-List Awards

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First of all, let’s pose for a second to ponder on the title of the obscure Award show that insignificant TV channel Bravo has concocted. So it is an A-List Awards event but, unless we were snoozing when Tila Tequila played in a Cohen Brothers movie and Aubrey O’Day was snatched by Harvey Weinstein for his [...]

Primate learns to ride horse, then celebrates by mating in the jungle bush

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Those of you who thought Amy Winehouse would make it back in London without ingesting an entire crack pipe for breakfast, raise your pows. Those of you who estimated she would last about a couple of nanoseconds before she dragged her newly emaciated ass (and sucking thumb) back to the junkie rehab haven of St.Lucia, good call. [...]

Whitney Houston paid $400,000 to drug dealers to spare Bobby Brown

Troubled diva Whitney Houston secretly paid a $400,000 ransom demand to kidnappers who threatened to kill her ex-husband Bobby Brown, according to a new bombshell book by former gang member David Collins. Brown was snatched and held “naked and hog tied” at gunpoint by members of a notorious New York street gang known as the [...]

Gunfire at Giselle Bundchen’s wedding

This story gave us pose…and confirmed our suspicions that Gisele Bundchen is a secret CIA operative whose good looks are used to divert the attention of her enemies (namely brazilian druglords) away from her true crime fighting intentions. And we’re guessing the wedding to Tom Brady in Costa Rica was a plan to invite the area’s kingpin [...]

Megan Fox in garter…but we’ll have to use our imagination for this one

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Trust us on this one and go with it (atlhough you’ll have to close your eyes really hard to get a clearer picture): under the white bathrobe is a frilly dress, boots, a tight corset hugging a generous bossom, and garter belts. And under all that hides a luscious body with goosebumps because a cold [...]

Lauren Conrad puts worries aside, makes out on the beach

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When your clothing line just went bust and the only thing’s that ever made you money is just about to end (see final season of “Stupid and Talentless People All Live on the Hills”) what is there to do? Chill out on the beach, occasionally make out with boyfriend and in between “have meetings” with [...]