Octomom has put her sights on a major sperm bank with a penchant for zirchonia studs and ugly chicks because she’s realized the only man who can brave waking up next to her in the morning (as opposed to jumping out from a window and risking paralysis) and eight sets of curious little eyes without flinching [...]

Despite looking like she spent a month in isolation where she was fed rabbit turd once a day and beaten senselessly by her butch inmates (see bruises on right leg and left arm…but then again it could be that Alex discovered rare patches of meat just staring up at him and found himself strangely attracted to them), [...]

Mel B’s husband, Stephen Belafonte has stopped pretending he’s married to a woman (ok, we all make mistakes when we’re drunk, and to his defense you really have to put your face up close and squint to see the scared little balls and penis hiding in a dark corner of her anal corridor). So instead [...]

Here’s Adrianne Curry dressed as Princess Leia (and as Wonder Woman and as Silk Spectre) making sure that no geek attending the 2009 Wizard World Big Apple over the weekend left without collecting his gift-wrapped bag of blue balls upon exiting the premises. In between her “bonnerific” moments of photo snapping with drewling, zit-faced fanboys, Adrianne [...]

She was horny and in lesbian limbo. He was horny and did not want to pay the 50 bucks for a prostitute to work out the knots in his penis. Yes, it was crabs at first sight for Lindsay Lohan and serial cheater Balthazar Getty.   The two were spotted sneaking into the back door [...]

Here’s Amy Winehouse looking like a hairy but chesty Thai tranny hooker trying to convince tourists to spare their cash in return for a hefty dose of gift-wrapped STDs. After her new boobs almost exploded on national TV (while appearing on BBC1′s Strictly Come Dancing for which she got the boob job to begin with) [...]

If you had no idea who Alina Puscau was, just know this: she’s slowly making her way into Hollywood by keeping one important director’s wienerschnitzel up and running all day long. See, Alina is a knockout, but most likely than not she would have stayed in the modelling business had it not been for her [...]

Here’s Kate Hudson making sure everyone on Venice beach dropped their dumpbells on their feet trying to stare at her toned stomach by ensuring her navel had really low visibility of her tight pants up from where it was sitting and that a poor little cross got nauseated from jumping up and down her crotch [...]