We apologize for the grainy images, but Venus Williams’ ass in a crystal clear form might be something similar to being offered battery acid to relieve dry and itchy eyes. Now what we can’t figure out is whether she went commando to destruct her opponent or her ass works like a giant rip current and [...]

Miranda Kerr is gracing the pages of GQ (Feb issue out January 26) and if you can will your brain cells to stop thinking about the marks her naked ass and your hairy naked ass would leave on that distressed leather couch for a moment to read her interview, you might find out she’s a [...]

It’s been a while since we’ve enjoyed Kim Kardashian sucking on anything substantial, but we’ll just have to do with this reenactment of what jump-started her illustrious career (is she getting misty-eyed there? Fond memories can be overwhelming). Beware, sister Khloe is attempting to do the same thing (at the launch of The Sugar Factory’s [...]

John Mayer is the Heidi Spencer of the male world, but instead of getting 2469 surgeries in one sitting, he just uses his mouth and his penis as a T3 broadband line for fast, reliable broadcasting of his universe-altering announcements. This time, he told us what we’re sure you were dying to know via Rolling [...]

We always knew Quentin Tarantino was a bit off, but we just thought it might have been that fall from his baby walker when he was 8 (ok, he was a late bloomer). Now we’re starting to think he has newspaper clippings and human fingers in embalming fluids in his mother’s basement…any maybe a few [...]

Hey, you know that chin the Beverly Hills doctor has sawed off Heidi Montag and whose cartilage he used to build Spencer a proper penis? Well, he will most likely want it back because Heidi won’t be making any payments anytime soon. See her album is selling as fast as her brain is churning when [...]

Here’s Monique walking the red carpet at the Golden Globes, and honestly, Chewy the Wookiee cleans up better when he attends special events. If you ever liked Monique in a non-biblical way and you happen to own a staple gun, now would be a good time to hold your penis against a wall and start [...]

Here’s Kelly Brook, obviously posing for some classy male magazine testing her milk ducts as she’s squeezing her delectable danishes between her thighs and practicing the art of blowing (bubbles people, get your mind off the gutter). On second thought, the woman is drowning so this would be our chance to dive in head first [...]