Archive for July, 2010

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Jack Hanna is a Wildlife Pussy

TV host and famous zookeeper Jack Hanna says he took his own advice and… used pepper spray on a grizzly bear headed toward him. (Instead of killing it with his bare hands, like any self-respecting animal expert would do.) The Columbus Zoo keeper and frequent David Letterman guest said he was with his wife and [...]

Oliver Stone is a Jew Hating Jackass

Creepy-as-hell film director Oliver Stone apologized Tuesday for comments he made to a London newspaper on the Holocaust and Jews’ control of the media, which drew an avalanche of criticism. “In trying to make a broader historical point about the range of atrocities the Germans committed against many people, I made a clumsy association about [...]

Horny Nerds Love Adrienne Curry

Comic Con is where nerd dreams come true. Want to see Princess Leia get it on with Jabba? You got it! Need to see Boba Fett dress like a pimp? Sure! Feel like watching Pyramid Head and Lilu get it on? WHY NOT! Adrienne Curry is lending a helping hand to the wet dreams of [...]

Katy Perry is a Photogenic Slut

Russell Brand is one lucky, ugly, herpes-infested Brit. He has a woman so cute, that even double rainbows covered in chocolate kittens can’t compare. Katy Perry could look amazing in a burlap sack covered in maggots. So when she gets dolled up like a Parisian hooker for a photoshoot, the result is amazing. If only [...]

Madonna Seen Clutching Heroin

If Lost taught America anything, it’s what a small bag of heroin looks like. What does it look like, you ask? Well, exactly like the shit Madonna is holding in her right hand as she exits a shady nightclub. Of course, Madonna has the resources and the connections to buy heroin at will, but it [...]

Coco Tweets Her Bare Ass

Nicole “Coco” Austin is one of the wonders of the world. Sometimes it’s so easy to forget her, what with Kim Kardashian strutting her massive ass around Hollywood and whining about stuff like… how awful her dad looks and how many nightmares she has had about her monster of a sister. But this bride of [...]

No Suit Can Conquer Jennifer Lopez’s Ass

Some things never change: the Grand Canyon, herpes outbreaks, and Jennifer Lopez’s ass. No matter how many years ago she made that awful Gigli movie with her then-fiance Ben Affleck… time won’t change the bulbous ass that she has. Recently, her tiny brown swimsuit fought valiantly against her ass, but sadly it was a losing [...]

Scarlett Johansson, Crack Whore Extraordinaire

Scarlett Johansson has never looked so slutty or so riddled with venereal diseases… and it absolutely suits her. We’re not sure if this is for any upcoming magazine or not, since the new issue of Sluts N’ Whores Quarterly just came out, but this is definitely cover-page material. Her “I just stole 50 hamburgers from [...]